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Merry Bloomin' Christmas

by The Toby May

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about

We’ve all been there, the pressure to entertain, to provide and to celebrate. The pressure to make it just the most wonderful and memorable time for everyone involved…

But, It doesn’t always work out like that does it?

Late nights, early mornings, too much food, too much booze and family members you’d rather avoid? Merry Bloomin’ Christmas, Indeeed…

As professional musicians, performers and songwriters, Spooner & May have performed their fair share of Christmas Songs over the years, and with nearly every festive subject matter well and truly covered, it was time to pull back the duvet and expose the smelly underside of what really happens, when they decided to pen their own, very real look, at Christmas.

During a phone conversation in November 2018 the two friends decided to write a “Real Christmas Song” and within 24-hours of the phone being put down, the song was written and recorded. After a few hasty re-works and the construction of a lyric video, the song was ready to be unleashed.

“We don’t hate Christmas, it can be a great time of year…” explained Spooner, “There’s just always this expectation that it should be a perfect jewel of a day, like in all the Christmas songs we grew up with, you know….warm, fluffy and comfortable. But it’s never really like that when you’re a teenager or as a parent. There’s always something that gets in the way of that sense of perfection you experienced as a kid. This is a very British take on the Festive period.”

“That’s right” says May “This song is purely observational, we were rolling around laughing as we were discussing ideas for lyrics and sharing stories of family Christmas’ of years past. It’s a sarcastic look at Christmas, firmly tongue in cheek, you know? If we can convey that kind of emotion to our listeners, make them laugh….then we’ve done our job”

So, there maybe a multitude of calamity’s, a falling out here and there, some mild over indulgence and some tantrums BUT, there’s always something to look forward to…

“the Turkey’s not so bad” and a week later, it’s all over and deep down, you know that “things will work out fine”

Merry Bloomin’ Christmas.

lyrics

MERRY BLOOMIN’ CHRISTMAS
©2018 Spooner / May

A time to to be happy, a time that should be that.
A time with expectations, that usually fall flat
No presents in my stocking, I guess he couldn’t find me, hey? Haven’t got a chimney, the gas boiler is in the way.

Secret bloomin’ Santa, and a sea of reindeer horns. Finish work at lunchtime, get the beers in with your chums. A stupid snowman jumper, with everyone in the pub. Another Christmas party, won 5 quid from the Christmas Club.

Merry Bloomin’ Christmas, the turkey’s not so bad.
My fairy lights are tangled, the Prosecco’s gone all flat. My paper crown is slipping, like my mood on Christmas Day. Supposed to be perfect, s’just another day...

No-one wants the toffee ones, left in sweetie tin,
No one wants to sit near Nan and stare at her hairy chin. Father carves the Turkey, he’s messed it up again, But, Mother hasn’t noticed cause she’s pourin herself a Gin.

Christmas tree is dropping, pine needles on the floor.
It’s Indiana Jones again on the box, I could sleep for ever more...

Merry Bloomin’ Christmas, the turkey’s not so bad.
My fairy lights are tangled, the Prosecco’s gone all flat. My paper crown is slipping, like my mood on Christmas Day. Supposed to be so perfect, s’just another day...

It’s never really snowing, like you see on the cards. Just a bit o drizzle, a dog poo in the yard.
Asked for bangin’ headphones got a manky pair o’ socks. A PS4 with Tekken, gift that really rocks.
Membership to Spotify, that’ll float my boat.
Not a value pack of aftershave or wooly winter coat. Selection box has melted, Yorkshire Pudding is all dry. If I see a Turkey sandwich now, I’m really gonna die.
Cat sick on the carpet, tinsel lost its shine.
Carol singers here again, there’s gonna be a crime. Choccy’s on the tree are gone, glass of stale wine. Rekon by this time next week, things will work out fine.

(Let’s do the same again next year, s’enough to make you cry...)

Merry Bloomin’ Christmas, the turkey’s not so bad.
My fairy lights are tangled, the Prosecco’s gone all flat. My paper crown is slipping, like my mood on Christmas Day. Supposed to be so perfect, s’ just another day...

credits

released November 14, 2018
Richard Spooner: Lyrics
Toby May: Music & Production

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The Toby May Genève, Switzerland

After much soul searching and many lonely days and nights spent writing in the studio, Toby’s vision has been justified in the form of widespread industry support and healthy commercial radio airplay for his first two singles “Beautiful Skin” (as featured in the Swiss Loterie Romande Television Campaign) and “Always Wrong” ... more

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